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The Life of a Storyboy

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Prologue: Sourdough

Triskaidekaphobia is the fear of the number 13.
Paraskevidekatriaphobia is the fear of Friday the 13th.

This is not a safe space for anyone with either condition.

Luckily, it works both ways.

I recently learned that if you replace “-phobia” with “-philia”, Triskaidekaphilia is the term for loving the number 13.

If you think 13 is lucky, you’re in good company.

Mindset is everything.

It's me, hi.
I'm the lover,
it's ME!

The Very First Night

It takes us nine months to breathe on our own.
Earth TtTime on earth is the real womb.

Birth marks the spot.

Friday, September 13, 1974
Year of the Wood Tiger

Travis Carl Garrod
Opened thighs at 8:34 p.m.
Providence Hospital
Anchorage, Alaska
The Last Frontier
The 49th State

San Francisco 49ers
Sourdough Sam
Levi’s Stadium
Super Bowl LX
NFL
SAP
Super Toilet Bowl

Generation X enters the chat.

Sourdough Swift Kick Starter

I was born and raised in Alaska.
“Sourdough” is slang for a longtime resident of Alaska, unencumbered by winter.
I lived there 17 years before moving to the lower 48 in 1992.

13 Takes Flight to New Heights

On August 13, 2025, Taylor Swift was the special guest on the New Heights podcast with Jason and Travis Kelce. They talked for two hours.

Several segments caught my attention, but the The Art of the Easter Egg changed everything. They briefly highlighted superstition, numerology, and the number 13.

Taylor gave a simple, yet important example:

Taylor’s favorite number is 13.
Travis’ football number is 87.
13 + 87 = 100.
Keep it 100.

All three of them professed their love for the number 13.
Jason asked Taylor what it meant.
She said, without an engagement ring, “It means we’re family.”

The August 13 episode set a Guinness World Record for concurrent viewers: 1.3 million.

Of course that caught my attention.

After hearing the numerology and 13 bit on New Heights, I made a list of my Friday the 13th birthdays since 1974.
There are eight total.
1974, 1985, 1991, 1996, 2002, 2013, 2019, 2024.
Taylor and I have six common Friday the 13th birthday years.

I followed the golden thread to each year to see where it leads.

It took me less than five minutes to realize I discovered a silky golden web of curious connections.

The connections kept coming. I couldn’t turn it off.

Much like the Energizer Bunny, I kept going and going (and going) down the rabbit hole.
In the early hours of August 24, I had an epiphany!

Wait...what?
Double take.
Is this real?
Triple take.
Holy shit!!!

I thought to myself,
I've only ever felt this good in dreams.
I found the missing key!
Finally!
The New Heights podcast
was a multidimensional message in a bottle.

I’ve now discovered that my entire life is sourdough bread crumby.
Very, very, very crumby.

Turns out, I’m a sourdough crumb dumpster.

The Golden Thread

One single thread of gold tied me to you

invisible string
Taylor Swift
folklore

I’ve always loved the number 13.
I was born on Friday, September 13, 1974.
I’ve loved the number 13 for a long time.

13 hits different when you’re born on Friday the 13th.
13 hits especially different when you turn 50 on Friday the 13th.
13 has even more significance when your September 13th birthday is exactly 13 weeks before Taylor’s December 13th birthday.

I just made that connection last year while Swifties clowned for RepTV (on which I think I can shed some light, metaphorically of course).

I turned 50 on Friday, September 13, 2024.
Thirteen weeks later, Taylor turned 35 on Friday, December 13, 2024.

For 39 weeks each year, our ages are 15 years apart.
For 13 weeks, our ages are 16 years apart.
31…13…uh oh.

In 2013, both of our birthdays landed on Friday the 13th.
Taylor turned 24 (12:12)
I turned 39 (13:13:13)

Looks like a triple golden birthday to me.

But wait, there’s more!

Speaking of golden birthdays, I turned 13 on September 13, 1987.
14 days later my oldest, younger half-brother was born September 27, 1987.

13 + 87 = 100.
Keep it 100.

If you think it’s weird now, 13 is just warming up.

Friday the 13th Part III: 3-D

As far as 80s horror, Friday the 13th has always been my favorite.
The first one I watched was Friday the 13th Part III.
It was the only one filmed using 3-D technology.
It was theatrically released on August 13, 1982.

Wait, what?
August 13?

Taylor likes to sew kids' purses and blankets.
Nice stitch; I think there's been a glitch.

The movie terrified me the first time I watched it. Part III introduced Jason Voorhees’ iconic goalie mask. I was obsessed. As a young boy, I played hockey and I was a goalie.

Jason was stitched to my birthday and a goalie! It’s fair to say, I was fascinated by Jason Voorhees. I’ve watched every Friday the 13th movie before and since.

I fully believed Jason would spare me if we ever crossed paths. He’s always felt like a silent guardian. We’re basically brothers.

Jason and Travis together, always and forever!

Meow

Superstition & Intuition

"The crowd is your king."
Thank you for that, old (hypothetical) friend.

Truth hits different.
Truth is a frequency.
Truth is a vibe.
Truth will fuck your shit up and keep walking.

Who would've thought a random blog I wrote on November 16, 2015 would be a linchpin for exposing truth a decade after it was published?

That’s some crazy alignment.
Anyone can do this.

I started writing 10 years ago.
I’ve been getting bready for this for a while.
Decades.
Five actually.

This story spans five decades.
1974 – 2024
50 Years
2025 and 2026 get honorable mentions.

52 years
13:13:13:!3

I had a lot of time to develop my 5UPERP0WER.

I call it IMAGINATION.
Some call it DELUSION.

Truth be told, I'm an expert in both.
Whatever it is, it's been a blast piecing this story together.

2015 anchors this timeline.
2020 could have been an ending, but fate determined otherwise.
(That’s when an Extra T (or two) was added.)
2022 (Enter Revised Ending)
2023 (Enter Tight End)
2024 (Enter TTPD)
2025 brought Trump back to remind us all why this was necessary and that karma is real.
2026 – Four dates to keep in mind: 1/1/26, 2/13/26, 3/13/26, 11/13/26.

The end is extra tight.

What a different a decade makes

After 22 years in Milwaukee,
I relocated to Arizona in 2014.

Within a year, I was a living Phoenix cliché.

I started a hobby blog.
Posted my first story
about cats and dogs on
August 31, 2015.

I spent several years exploring a passion I never pursued.
I did it for my inner child.

In August 2025,
everything became crystal lake clear.

Now that I’ve learned what I know, I can say, unequivocally, timing is everything.

I’m joyful and eager to share my story with anyone who’s…

…ready for it.

Happy crumb hunting…

If you're interested to follow this story to see where it goes, go like the Devilish Smirk page on Facebook.

Let the games begin!

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5UPERP0WER

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Today is August 31, 2025.
10 YEARS AGO TODAY, I POSTED MY FIRST BLOG
ON DEVILISH SMIRK

I am currently working on a Devilishly Clever something
to share the results of this 10-year project.
More to come, but I am very much looking forward to sharing.
With that, I leave you with a snippet from earlier today.
Still nailing down the date.

It’s never too late to dream.
You can always discover, create, tweak, fine-tune, evolve, enhance, and achieve dreams.

However, there’s a caveat.
It’s work,
and not necessarily work you get paid to do.
At least, not at first.
It’s work that might pay off down the road.

Your imagination becomes exponentially more active
the more you open, stretch, strengthen,
and train your imagination.

Imagination training is exhausting for an activity
that doesn’t involve physical exertion.
The only thing you lift is your spirit,
which ultimately lifts you.

Whatever you do, do not abandon your dreams,
even if you pause for five years.

I haven’t made a penny with this hobby.
This was pure passion.

I didn’t start this for money.
I did it because it was so f***ing fun.
The only reason I’m here today is because
I poured my heart and soul into something
I was deeply passionate about;
my own life.

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Welcome to 2022!

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A Matter of Time

The tail end of 2021 hit me like a ton of bricks, but in the best possible way. As I’ve aged, I’ve become more of a feeling being, and my outlook on life is better for it.

It wasn’t until I was in my forties when I began to break down in tears about things that I may not have given a second thought to in my younger years.

Not that I've never broken down and cried before, but the more it happened, the more I embraced those emotions and allowed myself to feel things more frequently.

A good cry is as cathartic as it gets, and not all cries come from a place of pain or sadness.

The latter half of December, I had a lot of time to think, reflect, and introspect. By the end, I realized that 2021 was one of the best years that I’ve had in a very long time, and it was about time.

Overall, I’m a pretty optimistic person.

Lord knows, it’s hard to be optimistic much of the time, but I love a challenge.

Sure, I have bad days. Who doesn’t? It’s natural, and that’s okay.

Without the lows, you'll never appreciate the highs. That's just how it works, and that shit takes time.

Uncomfortable situations are the soil from which we learn, improve, adapt, and grow. Good or bad, everything we experience is for the benefit of our personal development. And then you die.

Some days, my mind can get the best of me. What can I say? There's a 47-year-old storm swirling around in there that could make Jupiter's look like child's play.

What’s Your Vibe?

I make a conscious effort to bring good energy to every encounter I have.

That’s important to me, especially as I get older.

That means bringing that same energy to my personal party of one.

Sometimes you need to dig for the gold.

In December, I had time to recognize and acknowledge exactly how transformative 2021 was for me.

I allowed myself to feel proud of how hard I worked on three important pillars of stability – work, exercise, and mental health.

My typical year-end reflections focus on what I’m going to do differently in the next year. But 2021 was different.

I don’t need to do things differently in 2022. Instead, my focus is how to keep the momentum going.

Life is about how you react and respond to any given situation, so behave accordingly.

I feel, very deeply, that we are part of something bigger; that there is actual purpose in our being, and we’re all somehow connected, continually learning, and constantly evolving.

But why?

You know when you know.

For me, it happened after turning 40.

Not that I became a different person, I just became more accepting of myself and finally fell in love with him too.

That was a process. Worth it. 5 stars.

For some, it may happen earlier – or never happen at all. If you get there, you get there, and it can happen at any phase of life.

You have exactly until you die to become a person you’re proud to be.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

New Year, Same Me

Hey kid! It's been a while! I hope you've been well. I haven't checked in on you lately, but I'm happy you've set aside some time to have this discussion. Carry on, sport!

What’s different about my life today than in December 2020?

Quite frankly, a lot. I have so much to be grateful for, and for that I am grateful.

Work

In December 2020, I was on a 10-week seasonal contract and getting nowhere fast on a job hunt.

In March 2021, the company hired me fulltime with full benefits. They put me on a pilot program for an enhanced customer experience for wedding products.

Before the end of the program, they deemed it a success and extended it indefinitely. Our team has more than doubled in size, and the company is doing extremely well.

It has been an absolutely fantastic experience, and I couldn’t ask for a better team of people to work with on a daily basis.

I'm really proud of what this team has accomplished and I'm very happy to have this experience under my belt.

Exercise & Physical Health

In December 2020, exercise wasn’t a thing and not at all a priority.

I was 46 and I didn’t work out, nor did I care about diet. I was 225 pounds with a biological history of high blood pressure and diabetes, and I hadn’t been to a doctor since I left Milwaukee in 2014.

Here's the 2019 goal I set, but finally accomplished in 2021. It only took two years, but that doesn't matter. I did it, and that's what matters.

In April 2021, I began assembling a home gym and finally realized the true benefit of seeing personal trainers nearly a decade ago.

My January 2, 2022, weigh-in was 189.1.

With the job stabilized along with health insurance, I’ve gotten myself situated with a doctor and the medical care that I needed but neglected for so long.

Mental Health

By December 2020, I had gotten a little too comfortable isolating myself at home.

It’s impossible to ignore the mental benefits that come with loving your job, consistent exercise, and the peace of mind only bloodwork and prescriptions can provide.

My stress level is low, my confidence is high, I've met some really great new friends in the past year, and I'm genuinely proud of myself. Fact is, I feel fantastic.

I even dabbled in dating in 2021, which I hadn’t done since becoming single in 2016. What I can tell you is that my heart works which, honestly, was a relief to discover. To be frank, I kind of felt a little dead inside.

For me to feel the feelings that I actually experienced in 2021 was eye opening and reminded me that I am, in fact, still alive.

2021 was a year of lessons. And I paid attention.

You can't swing a dead cat around here without hitting a lesson!

The thing I didn’t do in 2021 was write. Not a single word.

2022 is looking better every fucking day.

From Now On

Great life experiences all depend on timing, circumstance, and the people you encounter. I’ve learned a lot about myself in the past year and I’m committed to continuing this journey throughout 2022 and beyond.

Maybe something magical will happen in 2022. I’m as optimistic as ever. Feel free to join me.

We all have much to learn from each other, almost as if we exist for the purpose of benefiting each other.
All of us.
At all times.
It takes a village.

You get what you give, so give it your all.

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The Great American Experiment

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Welcome to the Great Experiment!

People got too comfortable playing the game. Picking up where The "Conversation" Game left off...

A lot of what I’ve learned about my life and the world around it makes me uncomfortable.

It makes me happy, sad, elated and doomed – truly doomed – all at once.

It takes us nine months to breathe on our own, but our time on earth is the real womb.

Everyday I learn to adapt, a little more, than the day before. Honestly, that’s all that matters to me.

Life beat the hell out of me before my attempt at beating the hell out of life. Living a life out of hell is worth fighting for.

Hell has no place in my life – inside and out. Real hell.

So here we are, beating the hell out of each other because life and I have a common goal.

My emotions don’t come one by one, they arrive in bundles. Like high speed internet, cable TV, and phone service, the price is too high to start separating my feelings.

If I’ve learned anything on my writing journey it’s that.

The demons are doing jumping jacks now.

Be the Real Deal

Embrace emotions as they happen no matter what they are.

Feel your moments. Every last one of them.

Live like you were born in an arena. For all intents and purposes, you were. If you were born in America, that’s what this is.

You’ll be shocked how far long ago this was set in motion. More time ago than you can imagine.

For now, let's call them years.

Thunderstruck!

Today, I realize how responsible I actually was as a kid. I’ve managed to justify my earlier existence. That’s the “C” student in me.

It's about damn time! I took that believing children are the future shit seriously.

I discovered a voice and, as a kid, I considered a typewriter a toy.

The Creative Guide

I attribute my evolution to having an open mind and heart.

I remind myself of this simple fact at every turn in this crazy reality.

That’s the only way I successfully began understanding the strange world in which I exist.

There’s only so much time before the thoughts behind this smirk are buried in forever.

Luckily, that's not the direction this is going.

The stars aligned. Or not. The planets did. Or didn’t. Whatever it is, it feels like fireworks. Some days. Maybe.

I don’t know.

Moving on.

I feel like I’m crawling out of a steaming pile of extraordinarily colorful crap ashes.

Is it coincidence the Trump conclusion coincides with the final episodes of Game of Thrones which wraps on May 19, 2019 just ahead of the June 7, 2019 Dark Phoenix ~~rise~~ release?

And Sansa Stark stars in both?

Come on!

I’m merely a goose among geese, in a world searching for unicorns.

Don’t get me wrong, unicorns are great! They’re like a horse in permanent drag. However, unicorns shoot rainbows out of their butthole, and they don’t lay golden eggs.

A goose lays the golden eggs.

Where's that goose?

Will Ready Player win? Does Mario finally find his princess? Or prince?

Plot twist!

And all this time I thought I was an owl...

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A Perfect Stage to Rattle Your Cage, Pt. 2

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Indivisible, with Liberty, and Justice For All

By the time Americans graduate high school, we’ve repeated those words hundreds, if not thousands, of times.

If they mean anything to you, we have a lot of work to do.

We lost control of this forsaken nation. Uncle Sam pitted cruise control against autopilot. We got drunk with arrogance and became assholes.

Our allegiance to each other deteriorated while we collectively blacked out. We woke up face-down, ass-up, in a ditch, just in time to elect President Trump.

Everything around us is on fire.

Then, we went back to sleep.

In case you missed the first one, A Perfect Stage to Rattle Your Cage Pt. 1.

Linked In or Out?

You need to know how lucky you are. You’ve already won the lottery of life.

Believe it or not, it’s true. However, it’s a tricky truth, and it’s not enough to take my word for it.

It’s been an ugly and disturbing past four years. Is it a blessing? It feels like a curse. Whatever it is, it’s loud and painful.

We all felt and dealt with it in different ways.

How long will this last?

Ready Player Won

You can win at life when you’re ready.

You’ll feel ready before you win; long before. First, there are three things that fall squarely on you, and you alone.

Decisions, decisions, don't you just love having free will?

First, you have to truly believe you won.
Second, you must prove it through your actions.
Third, know that you are your only concern.

Yes, you need the hat trick. If you have that, you’re golden. Eventually. Maybe.

None of us have anything better to do than be better.

Too many people worry about others more than they worry about themselves.

In the playground of good and evil, there's nothing more to win.

When it comes to others, strive to inspire.

The Battle of Who Can Cry More

We all experience pain. It’s not a competition. We go through the shit we do in order to help others empathize with fucked up situations.

Life isn’t fair. And it’s easy to get pissed off about it. Hopefully, someday, people won’t have to deal with the shit we’ve dealt with anymore.

Did You Forget?

On this day, 18 years ago, 9/11 was still a plan.

We’d not yet begun the experiment and the subsequent time released aftermath, in a way only time can do.

Today’s reality feels like every movie you’ve ever seen.

The Hunger Games married the The Black Hole. The Capitol sent its citizens to deep space. They’ll never find the edge.

It’s Tron meets Basic Instinct. We navigate a vast and endless data-based world and realize we’re all fuckin’ human.

Also, we have a remarkable ability to make a scandal out of nothing.

You time slidin' son of a bitch. Deadpool 2. Josh Brolin. Goonies. Brand saves the day.

The Battle to Make the World a Better Place

Two Thousand, Zero Zero, Party’s Over, Oops Out of Time!

And here we are, 19 years later. This year marks the 18th anniversary of 9/11.

Are we ready to graduate to the next level? Level heads will prevail. Humanity will prevail.

I’m ready, but I can’t do it without you.

The roots of millennials come from Generation X. Who do you think had them? Step up, GenX.

Start prevailing.

Today was a Good Day

I feel like I’m stuck in a computer talking to and learning from itself. From every angle. An inward bomb, everything and everyone sucked in. Slurp. Bye!

Is it possible to be everything and nothing all at once? Time is irrelevant. There's a time and place for everything.

Need to Crumble to Rebuild

The people who appear to have won at first, don’t win in the end. How many times has the power shifted in your lifetime?

I haven’t seen a power shift in my 44 years. In fact, nothing’s changed except music and technology.

People still identify as either republican or democrat. I mean, Jesus.

People shouldn’t achieve personal fulfillment at the expense of others.

Unfortunately, that’s what we’ve become, today, in America. It’s shameful, and it’s time to do something about it.

In some way.

In your way.

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